sex tourist bingo

You too can play sex tourist bingo with our new sex tourist bingo cards!

And Lame-o was his name-o!

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askmen.com on “why single men can’t go to Bangkok”

Genius article by Askmen.com on why single men can’t go to Bangkok:

“The idea that you are going to find a woman to spend the rest of your life with in a country where tens of thousands of creepy Western dudes just like you are prowling around at all hours of the day and night is borderline insane. And maybe this wasn’t your intention when you booked that flight to Bangkok, but perception is reality and, unfortunately, generations of lonely ESL teachers have shaped that perception.

Going to the land of a thousand propositions and looking among them for a wife means that you have not only given up on sex, you’ve also given up on scoring a girlfriend all together. This is a sign that you can’t be bothered with finding women, talking to them, or even acknowledging them as equals. You are scared of women who are not getting paid to be affectionate; they intimidate you and make you feel like less of a man. If that is the kind of woman you are looking for (essentially an exploited person) you also have a few more issues to talk to the therapist about on your return visit.”

Amen, brotha.

family

Sexpats often justify their actions by the fact that no one forces Thai prostitutes to enter prostitution. If a young Thai woman wants to date an old Western man for his money, hey. it’s a free world, isn’t it? They’re both getting something out of it.

But think about this: if you had a daughter, the daughter of your own heart, that you raised from a little baby, would you want that life for her? Would you want her selling her body and her heart to old men she doesn’t love for money? Some of whom look like this guy:

(img src Stickman Bangkok)

video of thai woman beating up a sex tourist

This is kind of awesome:

(somehow embedding doesn’t work, so here’s the link:)

kick some ass!

how to be a “hansum man”, or “the sexpat’s guide to fashion

Whether you’ve already retired to your “girlfriend’s” Issan country village to open a shitty sports bar or whether you’re still auditioning Third World prostitutes to find your lucky bride, a good sexpat look doesn’t just happen. it’s the result of many carefully arranged details, each of which must express “No one in their right mind would ever fuck me for free”.

For those of you unclear on how to be a “handsum man”, I’m gonna break it down:

A revealing tank top


(image source: Stickman Bangkok)

While no one would complain about seeing Justin Timberlake or Rain rocking a tank top, a true sexpat wears a tank top on a body better suited to hijabs or whatever Baron Harkonen wears.

Crappy 6$ Tesco velcro sandals

Clothes make the man, but shoes make the outfit. The footwear of choice for discerning sexpats is 6$ velcro sandals from Tesco. They’re ugly, but what do you care? It’s not like you can see your feet over that beergut anyways.

Size XXXL cargo shorts

(Image src: Stickman Bangkok)

You’re already fat, now you can look fat and lumpy by rocking some cargo shorts and loading up the pockets until they sag.

Question: If I’m not fat, can I still pull off a sexpat look?

While being morbidly obese is the quickest way to make yourself as unattractive as possible, if you simply can’t make yourself eat enough Sizzlers, you can always resort to a really offensive tattoo (like the fellow teacher at my friend’s workplace who had a tatoo of a dwarf giving the finger — wouldn’t you want that dude teaching your kids?), or a 4-foot smelly long grey ponytail.

Or you could just try looking like this dude:

(src: Stickman Bangkok)

An Issan “girlfriend”
The most important fashion accessory for any sexpat is an Issan “girlfriend” so ugly by Thai standards that a Thai man wouldn’t fuck her with a Cambodian guy’s dick.

(img src: Stickman Bangkok)

Neck fat
I don’t know what’s up with sexpats having neck fat, but it seems to be important.

horrors of thailand

Backpack:
Carrying around a beergut all day makes a man feel one-sided. That’s why you want to strap on a giant backpack full of whatever like you’re a 12-year old going to school.

A hatred of Western women:
Don’t miss an occasion to proclaim that Western women are all fat, stuck-up slappers. (But don’t let your mother hear you.)

(source: Stickman Bangkok)

Hookers go with everything:
Whether it’s job interviews, dinner with co-workers, renewing your visa at immigration or going to church, a Thai prostitute, sorry, “girlfriend”, complements every occasion.

Your wallet
From the point of view of your Issan “girlfriend”, this is THE MOST important feature of your wardrobe.

(img src: Stickman Bangkok)

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